Banjo-Kazooie Loops
by Inkweaver22
Summary: The universe is broken. As a result, Banjo must relive his adventures over and over and over and over... What kind of zany situations will he and friends get into now? Time Loop stories for Banjo-Kazooie. (Cover image done by AIBryce on deviantART.)


**This is a Time Loop story based off Innortal's original Infinite Time Loops but in the style of the continuations made by Saphroneth. (Go ckeck out the MLP Loops Saph made! They're awesome!)Some things you should know about the time loops:**

**One person in a Loop, often the main character, is an Anchor. They are the person who first starts time looping.**

**There is always at least one Anchor present in a given Time Loop snippet, though it may not be the local one.**

**The standard pattern for a loop is that the Anchor (and whoever else is Looping there) come to awareness in a loop at a particular point in the story. From there, events will play out as influenced by the Loopers present, acting with the benefit of their foreknowledge, until either a predetermined end point is reached or all the Loopers have copped it.**

**To be Awake is to be aware of the time loops (that is, to have gone back in time _this_ time.)**

**The Anchor is the only character guaranteed to be Awake. Even after others have started looping, it is mostly random as to whether they will be Awake this particular loop.**

**Crossovers, fusions, and alternate pasts can also take place. It is perfectly possible, for example, to have the characters Awaken into a loop which conforms to a fanfic universe rather than reality.**

**Loops do not have to be in chronological order, but it is strongly preferred that they not require a mutually contradictory order (where A must be before B _and_ B must be before A.)**

**Just about every Looper is very, very stir crazy.**

**If you want to contribute a loop, head over to the thread on SpaceBattles: ****forums .spacebattles** **. c-o-m /** **threads/ banjo-kazooie-loops .282574/ Just remove the spaces and dashes in the .com and then copy it into your browser.**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

1.1

* * *

Banjo may not have been the smartest being on the Isle o' Hags, especially considering his own Breegull companion Kazooie, the pair of shamans, and move-set minded moles that helped them on their adventures. But what his friends didn't realize was that his high level of common sense combined with his acute observational skills allowed him to come up with some effectively simple solutions to highly complex problems. His current predicament, however, was beyond even his level-headed trouble shooting.

Somehow, Banjo was reliving his adventures. He would wake up on the morning that Gruntilda the witch first kidnapped his younger sister Tootie and would go through the entire quest for Jiggies, Jinjos, and Musical Notes up to the point where he and Kazooie destroyed the Hag 1. Nothing would happen for several weeks after that before he woke up once again on that first morning.

The first time this had happened, the bear had been thoroughly confused. He tried mentioning it to Kazooie, but she brushed it off as him having a strange dream. Banjo decided to just keep his head down and see what happened. He went through the adventures at a significantly faster pace than before thanks to his new knowledge. He hoped that the faster he did them, it would fix whatever was causing this strange phenomenon.

Unfortunately for the bear, no matter how fast he speedily ran through his quests, he would wake up back at the beginning. He was on his seventh loop of events when he realized something. Besides his memories, nothing carried over after the reset. Banjo was able to figure this out as the last battle with the Hag 1 had left him without one of his arms. It was the most gruesome wound he had ever received and was shocked and relieved when he woke with both of them still intact.

So, as he entered Mumbo's Mountain for the seventh time, he pondered on what he should do. It was obvious now that whatever was happening was far out of Banjo's control, so what he did with his now infinite amount of time was the question. The first answer was obvious: find methods to make his and Kazooie's adventures easier. It was common sense really. The faster he defeated Grunty both times, the more time he would have for his second goal: learn as much as possible. Banjo knew he wasn't the most intelligent when it came to book smarts, and he planned on fixing that. Of course, he would have some fun along the way whenever he could. Now armed with a plan, Banjo quickly cleaned out the miniature mountain world in under ten minutes and headed off to open Treasure Trove Cove. He grinned as he thought of something that might save him the time he wanted for learning and began to cultivate it slowly as he made his way through Gruntilda's Lair...

* * *

Two years later, Banjo and Kazooie, along with Mumbo Jumbo the skull-faced shaman and Bottles the mole were sitting at a table playing poker when his entire house began to shake violently. Banjo simply smiled and convinced Mumbo not to go check what happened. The shaman grudgingly returned to his seat and the card game continued.

* * *

Outside, near the boulder that imprisoned Grunty, not a living thing could be seen (Klungo had been convinced early on go off and work on making video games, so he was not there trying to revive his mistress). Out of the cliff wall near the waterfall drilled the nightmarish machine of the Hag 1. Its hatch opened to reveal Gruntilda's hideous sisters, Mingella and Blobbelda. They made their way over to the boulder, but when they got within ten feet of it, explosions went off, killing the hags instantly.

* * *

Banjo smiled once more as they heard the blasts, and convinced his friends to ignore it once again. After all, only he knew where he had placed the Proximity Mine Eggs that he found in Clinker's Cavern (he had also explored the Isle o' Hags early this time) and didn't want them to succumb to them as the witches had. With another smile, he showed them his hand, a Royal Flush, and collected his winnings. Oh yes, he could get used to this.

* * *

1.2

* * *

Banjo stood back and watched as Mumbo Jumbo, the shaman that transformed him into useful creatures throughout his journey, battled the evil witch Gruntilda. It had taken a hundred magical Mumbo Tokens to get his power back onto the same level as the hag (which, as it turned out, was his former student and the one that had cursed him with the skull-face), but it had been worth it as he and Kazooie watched the powerful spells being shot back and forth.

"Er... Shouldn't we be helping?" The Red Crested Breegull asked half-heartedly.

"Do you want to get into the middle of that?" Banjo gestured towards the magical carnage around the combatants. "Besides, I think he's holding his own quite nicely."

Even as he spoke, Mumbo cast a spell that cleaned the witch's hair and robes of its horrid stains of motor oil grease and other, fouler substances. Screeching in outrage that her carefully cultivated filth had been stripped away, Grunty began firing spells and a faster rate. However, in her rage, her concentration slipped, which was just what Mumbo had hoped. Nimbly dodging the curses and hexes, the skull-faced shaman got into close range of the witch. With a final "Oomenacka!" he transformed her into a misshapen squash and launched it off the edge of the tower.

"Well that was anti-climactic." Kazooie said as they watched the witch-turned-vegetable splatter against the ground far below. Mumbo panted from magic exhaustion before promptly passing out. Banjo slung him over his shoulder and headed for the trapdoor.

"Let's get Mumbo back to his skull and then go raid Grunty's living quarters."

"What for?"

"For books of course!" Banjo said enthusiastically. "Who knows what kind of knowledge she has hidden in there!" Kazooie chose to stay silent, wondering where the lazy bear she once knew had gone.

* * *

1.3

* * *

Banjo and Kazooie, along with everyone else currently within Witchyworld, watched in fascinated awe as the big top tent at the center of the park slowly burned to the ground.

"Who knew that all it took was some gasoline siphoned from your van form* and a single Fire Egg to start this baby." Kazooie casually mentioned, as if they weren't the cause of the arson in the first place.

"And with Mr. Patch trapped inside, we'll be getting a Jiggy without a fight for once." Banjo noted with equal ease.

At that moment, said Strange Wobbly Inflatable Thing burst from the smoldering remains of his lair and roared in outrage. It turned out, he was made of a completely fireproof material, including his patches. Luckily, those still popped when hit with an explosive.

The following battle that ensued was both long and difficult, destroying most of the amusement park. Needless to say, it was some of the most fun Banjo (and Kazooie, even though she was still unaware of the resetting timeline) had in a while and vowed to try and repeat level-wide battles with the other bosses they would eventually encounter.

* * *

1.4

* * *

"I have a something that's been bothering me Mumbo." Banjo told the shaman after being transformed back from being a walrus.

"What question does bear have for Mumbo?"

"Well, how do you get between each of your skulls in each world?"

"Mumbo show you. Stand on pad." Banjo did as told and stood on the skull shaped magic pad. Mumbo began chanting before pointing his wand at him and blasting him with some magic. Banjo felt like he was being squeezed through a straw sideways as he was teleported. When the horrible sensation stopped, he looked around. He was still in Mumbo's skull, but the shaman was nowhere to be seen. He wandered outside and discovered he was now in Mumbo's Mountain. A flash came from inside the shaman's home and Banjo went back inside to find Mumbo sitting down on his chair.

"You can teleport between worlds?" Banjo unnecessarily asked.

"Yes. But cannot go to skulls in closed worlds. Must wait for bear and bird to open them." Mumbo explained. Banjo sighed in disappointment. He was hoping to bypass several worlds and just head to Click Clock Wood.

"Oh well. Do you think you can send us back to Freezeezy Peak?"

"Yes. Stand on pad."

* * *

1.5 (Taron)

* * *

Two hours and ten minutes.

Gruntilda stared in absolute disbelief as the bear and buzzard appeared from the portal to take on her 'Furnace Fun' quiz.

'They spent so little time in my levels that they won't have learned all of the answers. She thought to herself.

The bear stepped onto the first tile above the lava before she could even make her speech. Taking it in stride, she began to say the first question.

"Mumb-"

"Talon Trot." Called out the bear.

* * *

1.6

* * *

A voice ringing out was the first thing he became aware of.

"BAN-JO THE MOONBEAR."

He then found himself on some sort of lunar surface.

"How did I get here?" He asked himself.

Before he could do anything, everything went black to a voice shouting out once more.

"THE END."

When he woke up in his home back on Spiral Mountain, Banjo decided to never mention the seven second experience to anyone.

* * *

1.7

* * *

"Well this is... different." Banjo said as he studied his wings. Somehow, he was now a blue-crested breegull.

"Erm… Banjo?"

"Yes Kazooie?" He replied without thinking.

"Weren't you the bear and I the breegull?" This caused Banjo to look up. Sitting on the bed was a confused looking bear with red head fur staring at her paws.

"Wait, you remember all that?"

"Of course I do!" The newly minted bear huffed.

"How many times have we defeated Grunty?" Banjo hastily asked, just to make sure.

"Technically three. Although you did most of the work when she changed the past."

"Oh thank goodness! I'm not alone anymore." Banjo heaved a sigh of relief.

"What do you mean alone?" Kazooie asked as she still got used to her new body.

"Well, we're caught in… I guess the proper term would be a time loop. After we defeat the Hag 1, time resets to the morning Tooty is first kidnapped. I was the only one who knew what was going on for a while…"

"Huh. Weird. Any idea what causes it?" She stood and wobbled around unsteadily as she got used to her new center of gravity.

"Nope." He replied, shrugging his wings. "I've just been learning what I can so we can beat Grunty faster. And before you ask, I have no idea why we switched places."

"Well, this should be interesting at least." Kazooie stretched, finally comfortable in her fur. "Shall we go?"

"Sure."

With that, she slipped on the yellow backpack Banjo was in and headed out the door.

* * *

1.8

* * *

"So why my sister?" Banjo asked as he made his way across the Furnace of Fun board. "I mean, I get that she's cute and all, but how does stealing that make you beautiful? Wouldn't just become cute like her?"

"Do not question Grunty's plot, her fair youth is what I sought!" The witch snapped, annoyed that the blasted bear and bird wasn't even focusing on her supposedly difficult questions.

"Yeah, I don't get that." Kazooie added. "If youth was all you were after, why not steal it from a sapling or something." Grunty paused as she considered the question.

"I guess I could give it a try, but before that you must die!"

"Why? I mean, all I'm trying to do is get my sister back. Just give her to us and we'll be on our way."

"Fine, take her you stupid bear! Just leave and stay out of my hair!"

"Banjo! What are you doing?!" Tooty hissed as her older brother ushered her out of the tower. "We can't just let her get away!"

"Don't worry squeaker." Kazooie whispered. "Everything is going according to plan."

As they made their way across the bridge outside, the entire upper half of the lair exploded.

"Oh dear." Banjo said with false concern. "I guess we forgot to tell her plant DNA didn't react well when trying to transfer it to something that isn't a plant."

"Oops." Kazooie replied with an equally deadpan tone. The young bear just stared at the pair for a second before bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter.

* * *

1.9

* * *

Banjo pinched the bridge of his nose to lessen the pressure of his building headache.

"Skwaa waa skwa waaaa." Kazooie said in irritation.

"Duh uh uh duuh uh duh uh." Banjo agreed. This was going to be a _very_ annoying loop.

* * *

1.10

* * *

Banjo was excited. He and Kazooie had long since discovered that sometimes things weren't quite the same whenever time reset, and this time was no exception. Usually, the changes were either irritating, mildly inconvenient, or completely inconsequential. But this time around, there was a positive change. This time, Banjo had magic.

Normally, Banjo would be unable to learn anything about this coveted art as one had to be born with the talent and in every single of the previous loops he wasn't one of those lucky few. Sure, he read any and all forms of literature he could get his paws on pertaining the subject, but he could never practice it. Until now.

Most of the magic in his world, with Jinjos being the one exception, was in one form of another Shamanism. Shamanism itself was split up in many categories. Mumbo was an expert at Chanting magic while Humba excelled at Potions. Master Jiggywiggy's powers were actually a form Trial Shamanism, which required someone to perform some sort of task to "prove themselves worthy" in order for the magic to work. Even the Winkybunion sisters practiced Shamanism, their particular branch of it being Spell-Casting. Now, while most magic users focused on a single branch of Shamanism, that didn't mean they were restricted to that single form of magic. Grunty was very proficient in Potions and Mumbo, having taught the witch everything she knew, was a skilled Spell-Caster.

Banjo, of course, knew most of this already. However, along with him having the talent to preform magic, several other things had changed as well. This time around, all the shamans on the Ilse o' Hags were on friendly terms with each other and part of an ancient order of magic. Even the Jinjos, whose magic wasn't considered a form of Shamanism, were a part of this organization. Working together, they all kept the peace on the island and resolved any disputes that should arise.

Now, whenever someone's powers awakened, the entire order would meet and preform a ritual. Apparently, each shaman was destined to excel and master a specific branch of magic. In other words, the shaman didn't chose the powers, the powers chose the shaman. The ritual revealed which branch had "adopted" the new magic user. Depending on the branch of magic, the shaman would then have to go on a specific, pre-determined journey of self-discovery to learn about their new powers. This exploration of one's self was known as a Shaman Quest. Once completed, they would continue mastering their new skills while studying other branches if they so wished.

Banjo bounced up and down in anticipation as the ritual was prepared. He was literally vibrating with excitement. With a huge grin, he stepped forward as the preparations were completed. It was time to see what kind of magic he was destined to master. He could hardly wait.

* * *

Runes.

Banjo's destined branch of Shamanism was Runes.

Saying he was ecstatic would be a gross understatement.

Apparently, it was a very rare form of magic. While other shamans could read and understand them, only one chosen to master them could channel magic through these mystic symbols without the aid of an outside source of magic such as a glowbo. Not to mention that they could be used to boost the effects of every other branch of Shamanism, making it a very coveted power.

Of course, with such a powerful branch of magic also came an equally difficult Shaman Quest. Not that Banjo minded, he relished any challenge that was different from his normal journeys. With earnest vigor, he set off on the quest, determined to do his best. If only he knew what was in store for him.

* * *

Banjo growled in frustration as he dodged another spell and thought back on his quest.

While Kazooie, who was currently aware of the time hiccups, had been allowed to join him, she was forbidden to help in any of the challenges he had to perform. The quest itself sounded easy enough. Collect thirty ancient relics that corresponded with a specific rune and bring them back to the temple the order was based in. Simple, right?

Banjo snorted at his naiveté as he ducked behind a rock for shelter.

He had to go over the entirety of the Isle o' Hags with a fine toothed comb to find them all. Not to mention that ten of the artifacts belonged to the Jinjos and he had to complete their insane tasks to acquire them. He winced as he thought over what some of them had made him do.

Scooping up a relatively flat piece of debris, he quickly scribbled a short rune sequence onto it and threw it over the boulder he was behind. A few seconds later, there was an explosion and loud cursing.

Of course, while he was searching for the relics, he had learned about the runes he already collected and how to use them. Once he collected all thirty, he returned to the temple where, surprise surprise, Guntilda betrayed them all and harvested the power of the relics, attacking them. The other shamans fought back, but the ancient powers that surged through the witch made her all but invincible.

Which lead him back to his current situation: hiding behind a rock as an over powered hag fired spells willy nilly. The shamans were putting up a good fight, but would begin to tire soon. Kazooie had abandoned his pack near the beginning of the fight so she could get a better piece of the action.

A flash of red and a loud squawk alerted the bear to her presence. Banjo peaked around his shelter and his heart nearly stopped. Kazooie's wing was pinned down by a large rock and was in Grunty's sight. The witch cackled as she powered up a sparking green spell. Banjo's stomach lurched as he recognized it: an instant death curse. Time seemed to slow as the spell was launched at his feathered friend.

"KAZOOIE!" Banjo broke his cover and dashed towards the downed breegull. A burning energy filled him, giving strength to his tired body and granting him inhuman speed. He moved in front of Kazooie, spreading his arms out. There was a bright flash as glowing runes physically manifested in front of him, a feat thought impossible. He ignored the inconsistency in front of him and channeled the buzzing energy that welled up inside of him. Banjo rearranged the runes, creating a force field strong enough to block the powerful curse. What followed was a blur of light and sound as his body went on autopilot, following the instructions of the power that filled him before finally blacking out.

* * *

When Banjo woke almost a week later, he learned what had happened. Apparently, he channeled the source of all magic itself and created a thirty-first rune which allowed him to make runes manifest physically as light. This meant he wouldn't need to write them first to channel magic through them, all he had to do was make the runes appear and the effects would be instantaneous. He had used this ability to defeat Gruntilda, sealing her away in stone. Unfortunately, it had depleted his magic core and would need several weeks to recover before he could experiment with it.

Banjo didn't mind. After all, he had all the time in the world to practice.

* * *

1.11 (Omake by Crisis)

Banjo the tree mentally sighed to himself. _'Okay, no more playing around with runic structures when I haven't slept in over 24 hours...'_

* * *

1.12

* * *

"Don't you think it's creepy that pretty much EVERYTHING we have to collect or run into is alive?" Banjo asked as he collected one of the three presents set throughout Freezeezy Peak.

"What do you mean?" A currently time-reset unaware Kazooie replied.

"Well, these presents for example. They have these big googly eyes and even just talked to us. Aren't they supposed to be inanimate boxes? And what about when we return them to the kids and they open them? Does that mean they'll die when they're opened?"

"I-I don't know." Kazooie began to shift uncomfortably.

"And another thing! When we got that first Jiggy, it spoke to us and explained what it was, even sprouting eyes! But then they've never said anything again! Does that mean that ALL Jiggy's and other items that did the same thing are alive and silently observing our every move?" Banjo continued to rant.

"Erm..." Kazooie eyed the red and gold feathers sitting alongside her in the back pack uneasily.

"I mean, almost everything we run into have these big pair of eyes that stare unblinkingly for no apparent reason. It's freaky!" The bear spouted as he walked up the giant snowman's scarf. "And while we're on the topic of things not making sense, why do the Jinjos need us to recuse them? I mean, they're not actually being restrained by anything that I can tell. They stand out in the open shouting for help when they could just fly off on their own. It's illogical!"

"Banjo you're scaring me." Kazooie reluctantly admitted. "Let's just drop it for now, ok?"

"Fine." Banjo sighed. "But once this is over, I'm going to rant about why we even need to collect hollow honey comb pieces in the first place."

Kazooie swallowed as they continued on, trying to get the unsettling inconsistent thoughts out of her head.

* * *

1.13

* * *

Trixie waited in the shadows as the bear wearing yellow shorts and a blue backpack entered the tent shaped like her pointed hat. Her loop memories informed her that she was replacing a shamaness that used her transfiguration magic to help the local heroes.

"Erm, anyone home?" Called out the bird that was riding in the bear's pack. Smoke began to fill the tent and the lights dimmed. Stirring music played for a moment before with a bright flash, Trixie appeared on her chair in front of the magic pool.

"Welcome to the home of the Great and Powerful Trixie Wixie! I, using my stupendous skills in transfiguration, shall assist you in your noble quest!" Fireworks went off behind her. It wasn't often that the show mare got to perform for a new audience, so she sold it for all it's worth.

"Huh. A pony. That's... Strange." The bear said after a moment, earning an annoyed huff from the unicorn.

"No, strange was that one time when we were all talking fruits and vegetables." The bird countered. "This is pretty much normal for us."

"Trixie assumes that you are both loopers?"

"Loopers?"

"Stuck in a time loop." The mare clarified.

"Oh! Yeah! Wait, does that mean you are too Miss Trixie?" The bear asked.

"Yes. I'll also assume this is your first fused loop?" She received a hesitant nod. "Oh good! I've been meaning to try out some new material. Those slideshows are so boring." Trixie's horn lit up. "Now, watch in awe as the secrets of time, space, and the multi-verse are revealed to you!"

* * *

Trixie and the two loopers, Banjo and Kazooie, watched in awe as her hat-shaped tent burned to the ground.

"I think you might have overdid it with the fireworks." Banjo said.

"Nonsense! One can never have too many explosives!"

"Remind me to not show her Grenade Eggs." Kazooie murmured. Unfortunately, she was overheard.

"Grenade... Eggs? Trixie has not yet experimented with this concept yet." A shiver ran down the bear and bird's spines as a feeling of impending doom filled them.

"You mentioned a slideshow?" Banjo quickly interrupted.

"Ah yes. I suppose it'll have to do until I perfect my technique." She reached into her mane and pulled out a projector, causing the other two to blink. "Once we're through you'll have to show me these wondrous eggs of yours."

Dread filled them as Banjo's distraction failed. They watched the presentation without interruption, wondering what kind of trouble they just caused and silently begged forgiveness for it.

* * *

1.14

* * *

"Banjo?"

"Yeah Kazooie?"

"Why are we morbidly obese?"

"Well," Banjo paused as his loop memories surfaced. "Apparently we let ourselves go after beating Grunty the last time. Which was approximately eight years ago."

"So this is a variant?" Kazooie tossed the headset she had been wearing away in disgust.

"I'm not entirely sure. Let's just see what happens."

* * *

Banjo seethed silently as he modified the cart he was forced to work with. He tuned out Kazooie as she ranted and raved about having all of her moves taken away and replaced with a wrench.

The source of their anger was a deity with a glorified computer monitor for a head. This "Lord of Games" had put them into a competition with Gruntilda and took away all their abilities, forcing them to use machines to combat one another. Banjo also had the sneaking suspicion that their "game host" was loop aware, as his runic powers had been suppressed as well. He could still physically inscribe his rune sequences, but it was much more difficult.

"Banjo! Are you listening to me?" Kazooie squawked.

"Not really." Banjo continued to tweak the cart with runes as his breegull friend huffed in annoyance. She cuffed him with her wing, causing the bear to mess up the sequence he was working on. They froze as the runes began to glow red and hiss.

"I hate you." Banjo deadpanned before the explosion ended that particular loop.

* * *

1.15

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

"Banjo, chill. I've got this." Kazooie reassured her best friend. "Besides, didn't you want to work on your rune structures some more so you don't turn yourself into a plant again?"

"Well, yeah." The bear twiddled his thumbs together. "But you could seriously get hurt. And what about the underwater portions of the lair?"

"We've been over this Banjo." The breegull said as she rolled her eyes. "I'm more than capable of protecting myself and can do the Talon Torpedo myself now. Stop worrying!" Banjo sighed and admitted defeat.

"Alright, alright. Go on then. Try not to have too much fun." Kazooie returned his fond smile.

"You too. Be back with your sister soon!"

Banjo waved as his best friend made her way up Spiral Mountain and into Gruntilda's Lair. Sighing again, he returned inside. With an air of determination, he got out some paper and a pen and began scribbling away.

* * *

Grunty stared into her cauldron as the blasted bird made her way through the lair completely unaided. She completed the puzzled and defeated enemies with a precision that seemed unearthly.

'Creepy...' She was so perturbed, she didn't even bother rhyming her thoughts.

As if sensing her discomfort, Kazooie turned towards her viewing screen and gave a sinister grin. The witch shivered involuntarily and backed away from Dingpot as the bird began to cackle madly.

"I'm coming for you Grunty~!" She chanted in a singsong voice. Grunty stared blankly at a wall. This was not going to end well.

* * *

Tooty giggled as she was escorted out of the lair.

"Did she really start crying when you pulled out that knife?" The young bear asked between bouts of laughter.

"Yep! Bawled like a baby." Kazooie confirmed. "I didn't even have to fight her. She willingly leapt off the tower when I mentioned getting a green-skin coat." This caused Tooty to double over in hilarity once more. She calmed down enough to open the door to Banjo's home.

"Banjo! We're..." She trailed off at what she saw.

Resting in the middle of the room was a scowling green cactus sitting in a yellow pot while wearing a blue backpack.

"_Not. One. Word._" Banjo hissed at the stupefied females. They stared for a full minute before falling to the floor laughing their heads off.

Banjo sighed. He was never going to live this one down.

* * *

1.16 (Gulping)

* * *

Banjo was hardly the first looper to study something that one wouldn't really associate them with.

Cream the Rabbit and transformative biology.

Ronald Weasley and maths.

Arthur Dent and martial arts.

Jack Sparrow and literature.

And many more besides. What made Banjo distinct was the absolute fervor that he pursued his studies, demonstrating a level of dedication to learning that would eventually lead to him becoming well-acquainted with Hermione Granger and Twilight Sparkle, a strange and honestly rather terrifying friendship that would eventually bring about an official declaration that Magic had gone Too Far, which resulted in a loop where Hogwarts had been replaced by a prestigious music academy, to the confusion and consternation from everyone involved.

But that's another story. So instead have something involving magitech, for lack of a better idea.

* * *

Rune scripts, which were complicated codes made with the 31 runes Banjo had learned and used as the basis of his spellcraft, were, to put it lightly, an utter b**** to work with. This was due mostly to the fact that they were significantly more volatile than, say, chakra seals, or wizarding runes. Not to say those weren't harmless, but the difference between them and the pictographic runes Banjo used was that there wasn't really an 'inactive' state for Banjo's. Their effects were 'primed' the moment they were inscribed, and it took a calm, still hand to put down more than three or four in a script.

Which is why Banjo was so familiar with the experience of being a sapient vegetable. Not that he didn't have similar experiences in his baseline, but being turned into something by Mumbo or Wumba was quite distinct from being turned into something by his own misfiring magic.

Although that time he had turned himself into a flying tank was something he REALLY wanted to be able to replicate. That had been a FUN loop.

The bear grinned as he remembered Gruntilda's expression just before he knocked her out of the sky over her lair. Good times, good t-"Crap!" He intentionally botched his work, and sighed, turning what he had intended to be an antigravity effect into an inert mess of paint, rather than the burst of shrapnel that it would have been had he actually completed what he was doing.

"C'mon, Banjo. Focus. Grunty made her broom levitate, you can do the same thing with something else..." He grumbled wordlessly as he started to scrape the paint off the bottom of the junkheap trolley LoG had stuck him with, and fought down the urge to take the wrench from Kazooie and drive it through the pseudo-deity's accursed monitor. Although it didn't actually help matters, it was a resoundingly satisfying experience.

Then Banjo's train of thought found an entirely new track, and he grinned. "Hey, Kazooie... Do you remember that one thing we put together that doesn't really... Work?"

* * *

Banjo just stared blankly at the gray, airless barrens around him, still seated in the sealed cockpit of the physics-crushing contraption he and Kazooie had named 'Kinetikos' for its blatant disregard for every law of motion.

The application of an antigravity script only exaggerated this effect, which brought the bear and bird here in a maelstrom of motion sickness and raw terror before inertia remembered it existed and smacked the enchanted vehicle down for its impropriety.

"Well, at least I know how I got here this time." Kazooie didn't respond, the breegull still more-or-less insensate from the journey that brought them to the Moon.

* * *

**(1.1) It begins.  
(1.2) I fear the day Banjo meets Hermione Granger...  
(1.3) Beating the Boss with Style (and Arson).  
(1.4) The More You Know!  
(1.5) 100% Speed Run.  
(1.6) I like trains... er... time loops.  
(1.7) Not the oddest intro for a new looper actually.  
(1.8) Self-disposing villains! No muss, no fuss!  
(1.9) Playing game dialogue _very_ straight. Click clack clickitty.  
(1.10) Runes, son!  
(1.11) Which can backfire if you don't do them right.  
(1.12) Every move you make. Every step you take. EVERYTHING'S WATCHING YOU.  
(1.13) Trixie and restraint aren't on speaking terms anymore.  
(1.14) Whoops...  
(1.15) Ibiki has _nothing_ on Kazooie.  
(1.16) What physics?**


End file.
